How do I start again…
Posted by Ginni
I am so gobsmacked by the amount of weight that Paola has lost and I keep coming back to the confessional to be inspired to lose some of my flab! I wish I had the perseverance that Paola and everyone else has, but I keep falling off the wagon.
My weight gain is so bad that it is the highest it has ever been. I keep going into hospital for one thing after another. I have Gallstones, High BP, a heart condition, carpol syndrome, tendonitis on my arms, metabolic syndrome etc etc… and absolutely EVERYTHING is linked with weight gain. I have to eat 11 tablets in the morning with breakfast to be able to function like a human being every day and another 4 in the evening. I swore years ago I wasn’t going to be like my mum, but that’s exactly what I am becoming!
My doctor has written me off work for an entire month for me to have full rest and to see a Counsellor. I have never had that much time off work, but he is insistent I am not fit for work right now. So, what do I do with myself? I wonder myself how the day flies by so fast.
I have tried every diet under the sun, with the most recent one being Nutrisystem meals, which helped me lose weight but left me so hungry and with uncontrollable shivers. I have not failed at anything in life, but I am failing my battle with this weight. Why?
One good thing about this rest period is, that I can spend some time on myself. My weight is higher than before, at 242lbs and I am a size 18/20. I know what I need to do, but I can’t seem to put it into practice. Even as I write today, I am sitting here with a small bowl of vanilla ice-cream.
I am lost ! I know I should utilise this time effectively and get myself on a strict diet…or should I do a detox? ..options, options. I am crap at measuring every spoonful of what I eat for their calorific value, otherwise I could follow Paola’s footsteps.
I have a puppy who is 14 weeks old and very very active, as well as my 5 year old son. We have all been going for walks every day and playing around, but its not enough. I need to lose weight, and I need to lose it like yesterday if I am to get off these tablets.
Sylvia said,
27 April 2009 at 10:54 am
*hugs*
I don’t know any easy answers (I wish) and I’ve fallen off the wagon plenty of times myself. All I can say is that attacking the problem head on and trying to lose-it-all-fast ended in me crashing and burning in a few weeks because my goals were too hard to reach and the amount of time I needed to spend was higher than I could keep up with. I recommend baby steps: rather than “how can I lose dozens of pounds FAST” which is overwhelming, maybe start with “how can I stop gaining weight now!” as an initial step.
I know Georgina has had some success with the no-S diet (no snacks, no sugars, no seconds – except on days that start with S) because it is simple and straight-forward to adhere to. Maybe something like that as a starting point?
For me, calorie counting has turned out very well although I was resistant to it at first. I weigh things at every meal and then use a little computer program from the USDA that lets you look up calories per item. I started by calorie counting without dieting (and was shocked at how many calories I was eating each day!) so that I was only struggling with one thing at a time. I’ve been collecting recipes as I work them out so that if I make the same thing again, I just have to measure the ingredients, not work out the totals again.
I’m getting better at low calorie meals (although Cliff complains about the amount of soup we eat these days). I know I still have a long way to go but I do feel that I’m making progress and finally the weight is actually (verrrrrry slowly) coming off instead of yo-yo-ing up and down.
Personally, I think that during this week off you may want to take the time to write daily (here or in a private journal) tracking your food (not calories, just what you are eating and drinking) and how you feel about it to shed more light on your habits and where they come from.
It’s clear that you are very frustrated but some of the things that are in your post are pointless stress. You can’t lose the weight yesterday and you can’t get rid of months of weight gain in a week. It would fix everything, I know. :)
If you can, just remind yourself that these are facts and there’s no point in beating yourself up over them because you can’t change them.
I only know you from these boards but I really wish I could reach through and hug you.
Pewari said,
27 April 2009 at 12:18 pm
I was just about to suggest No S, but Sylvia has beat me to it!
It’s really just clicked for me and makes a lot of sense. It’s not a diet so much as training new and permanent habits – weight loss is supposed to be slow (I’m only on week 3 and haven’t weighed myself recently, so can’t comment yet personally) but again, permanent – you don’t ever come off the diet. Even if you end up going a different route, it might be worth using after you’ve reached your goal as a maintenance programme.
http://nosdiet.com/
It’s completely free, no gimmicks – you can buy the book, but all the information you need is freely available on the site (I ended up buying the book just to support the site, really).
Paola said,
27 April 2009 at 1:04 pm
I’m glad you’re writing here, Ginni.
Things that helped me that might help you:
+ accept that it’ll take a year to get down to a reasonable weight (I didn’t allow for the on-going progress that helped spur me on), excepting to lose 1-2 lbs a week.
+ remember that you’re NOT going to be hungry for a year nor not have tasty food
+ don’t start any more ‘named’ diets (although the S diet doesn’t look faddish)
+ DON’T buy or have things in the house that are high in calories and low in nutrition – NO EXCEPTIONS – your son and husband could also do with losing weight and so they just need to deal with it – it’s JUST food
+ you don’t need to calorie count everything – but DO read the packages when you shop so that you can get the lowest-calorie choice
+ only buy low-fat cheeses – there are half-hat cheddars but you they’re still high in calories
+ eat small portions often – bulk meals with raw or lightly-cooked veg
+ use spray oil instead of butter and cooking oil ALWAYS
+ limit carbs to 1 portion a day (e..g, one sandwich, one pasta, one rice)
+ limit sweet things to one (or none) a day – as the body just craves more
+ walk briskly whenever you have to walk anywhere
+ don’t eat within two hours of going to bed – going to bed hungry is GOOD
+ use small bowls for small portions – only take more if you’re still hungry after 15 mins of finishing
+ write here daily
I think you keep trying faddy diets because you think that you need something with its own name to undo all the damage. However, it’s a difficult (but worthwhile) thing to accept that losing weight is just about taking control. Are you controlled by food or are you going to take control and responsibility for what you eat?
Taking control is the biggest change I’ve gone through and means that, whenever I slip up, I know exactly what to do.
I hope this helps.
Ginni said,
27 April 2009 at 1:33 pm
Thank you for all your support, guidance and help. I truly appreciate it and for some weird reason brought tears to my eyes. I must be on an emotional roller coaster right now.. or perhaps feeling sorry for myself.
I looked at the No S Diet, and it does sound sensible. I am not a huge snacker and we have nothing to snack on in the house. I printed out a No S sheet to stick on the fridge today and hope it keeps everyone on the same track.
I will start writing on the confessional every night again and start with logging what I eat. I did purchase some digital scales to measure my food yesterday so I will try to get that into use too.
Paola – I think you are right when you say I am controlled by food at the moment. I never used to be, but I don’t know why I let that happen now. I was never skinny as a rake but I was never fat either.