The Food Confessional

Posted by Paola

Now that I’m properly dieting again, I’d forgotten what it felt like.

I’d forgotten the satisfaction in going to bed hungry, knowing that the hunger pangs mean I am losing weight.

I’d forgotten the pleasure in resisting temptation. Although having that biscuit, ice cream or cake is nice at the time, I’d usually feel crappy about myself afterwards, which would out-weigh the temporary sensory pleasure of eating.

And I’d forgotten the pride in taking control over food rather than allow it to have a hold on me.

But I am worried that I only have two modes: dieting or over-eating.

I am currently avoiding all of Frank’s biscuits, cakes and ice cream (all of which I include in the weekly grocery order) but I often catch myself thinking “ooh, just one”.  But I know that if I have ‘just one’, it’s very easy for me to think “why not two?” and then “if two, why not three? you know you want to”. :-(

I only manage in an all-or-nothing approach when it comes to treats.

Once I reach my target weight/size, HOW am I going to add back treats without going overboard? Should I ration them?

Finally, anyone following my posts might balk at my day count over 500. However, I’m the weight I reached in November 2008, which is over 200 days ago in my diet. Not counting the last few months of bouncing around, I’m really under a year into my diet.

(And I’m trying not to think about effectively wasting 210 days…)