Yesterday evening, walking back from the post box, one of my neighbours said “have you lost a lot of weight?” as she parked her car. I said, “yes, four stone”. (I told her that she was the first person to notice who hadn’t known I was dieting.)
She asked “how?” in a way that seemed to expect an answer in the form of so-and-so diet.
I said “1,200 calories a day since January”. It didn’t seem like the answer she expected.
“Good for you!” she said, “good for you.”
I was chuffed. She’d said “a lot” of weight.
A few minutes later, when I was doing stuff at the front of the house, Marcus, her 9 yr old that I play with regularly came out and said “mum says you’ve lost a lot of weight.” “Uh-huh,” I replied. He went back in.
A few minutes after that, her teenage son, his friend and Marcus came out to where I was in the front garden and they all stood there, looking at me. “My, you’ve lost a lot of weight” said the older son, who sees me about once a week outside. I realised his mum must have been talking about my weight-loss.
I asked Marcus how heavy he was. He said “five”. I figured stone (5 stone = 70 lbs). I told them, “in two months time I will have lost the equivalent in weight of Marcus as he is now.” They looked a bit boggled, muttered “well done” and left.
THAT NIGHT, I dreamt that I was about to be photographed in a ball gown and was being helped by two people. I caught myself in a reflection and saw that my belly and bum looked HUGE. I wailed that I didn’t want to be photographed in public as I was too fat. The two woman friends with me, who were helping me get ready, said “no, no, you look fine,” and carried on bustling around me.
So, what the f is that all about?