Day 380: Not hungry

Posted by Paola

I felt really full again today. I didn’t get hungry all day and yet I still ate. I feel like I want to eat, feel that I should eat something but each plate turns into a normal-sized meal.

My trousers feel tight – I’ve back to three notches on my belt whereas a couple of weeks ago they were loose on the fourth notch.

In trying to figure out what’s going through my head in this non-dieting period of mine, I have an irrational thought of self-pity, of wanting people to feel sorry for what’s “happening to me” even though I am doing it to myself.

I was wondering what could have triggered this and the only thing that now comes to mind is that my mother is going through a very bad patch again. I went to visit her a few days ago and could really only help by distracting her from her pain. I wonder if in some perverse way I am either making myself suffer in sympathy or, worse, attention-seeking. Yikes, both are awful to contemplate!

12:10pm Ham and cheese salad sandwich + nectarine + tea

2:45pm ‘Hot’ and sour soup + apple

Mushrooms, onion, frozen mixed veg, ginger. Flavoured with soya sauce, mushroom ketchup (which is like a vegetarian Worcestershire sauce), balsamic vinegar, cider vinegar and honey. The recipe called for thickening with cornflour but I couldn’t be bothered to reach for it and so I used Bisto gravy powder instead. Nice but it needs protein such as lightly-fried tofu or white beans.

6:40pm Cottage cheese salad

I wish I hadn’t eaten this. I didn’t need to.

Later: hot chocolate + prunes

9:10pm Oven-dried tomatoes

This is the result of my first attempt at drying tomatoes in the oven. Laid out on a cooling tray in the over with all the trays removed. I placed half cut side up and the other cut side down. The former dries out quicker (2.5 hrs) but the latter end up flatter.

Not quite what I expected – using baby tomatoes wasn’t such a great idea – but I still did manage to scoff 10-15 immediately. I added most of the remainder to a salmon pasta dish I just made Frank and I had the last six.

2 thoughts on “Day 380: Not hungry

  1. I think you are stressed with your mum not doing so good, and you feel her pain. This is normal, as we all do. No matter how much we try to ignore it, we do feel our parents pain when they are not doing so good. I think you are eating in sympathy for your mum.

    Losing the weight using portion/ calorie control is great. But detaching food as being something we lean towards at the time of pain, sympathy, comfort takes much longer and probably needs a different approach. I went to a Paul McKenna show just before I left England, about programming the mind to detach comfort from food and he had a really interesting philosophy.

    He would use hypnosis methods for you to imagine your favourite foods taste disgusting, like eating worms or something. For some people it really worked. I, unfortunately went with a group of friends and I found it hard to concentrate on the seminar as I was surrounded by too many friends who were not concentrating.

    Perhaps you should look into a bit more on that kind of approach? On the outset you look a fantastic new person, and its just programming your mind to not think about food too.

    I know I go for snacks when I am hungry, and I am trying to avoid that by keeping my stomach full with water, green tea and soup. I fell so bloated and then get a shock when I go on to the scales :)

  2. I think you’re right re: snacks.

    I was saying to Becky at the weekend that I seem to be a snob about snacks. Even Marco said “I don’t snack” with a sense of pride.

    It’s a daft position and I’m glad I realised it because most of my meals are full plate-fulls. If I could alternate regular meals (albeit still on side plates) with snacks, I think I’d be eating less calories but not feeling any more hungry.

    I have begun buying fresh tomatoes regularly and really liked the few days I had snacks of Crackerbreads with sliced tomato, garlic granules, basil and a drizzle of olive oil. I must find more snacks like that, because caramel rice-cakes with peanut butter is yummy but not really food.

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